Not bothering to F-Lock this post, I don't fucking care right now.

So, yeah. The few people who might actually read this journal (doubtful) would probably like to know exactly what the fuck is going down.

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind when I declare the month of July 2009 to be the worst one in my existence.

You might have noticed the recent title change in my journal, and you've probably guessed the situation behind it.

My mother died on July 2nd.

I've just recently moved across the state to be with "family" (Most of whom I barely know.) Despite the fact that I had a job, an apartment, classes, friends, a life

I'm going back, of course, but I'm finishing collage up here, less hassle that way. We haven't had the memorial yet, god we haven't even gotten the ashes yet.

Christ, I know me and mom used to joke about her not making it to my 25th birthday because of her fucking smoking habits, but I didn't mean it!

I could really use a hug right now.

Jeez I haven't updated this thing in forever, got too distracted with work and collage. To my Camp betas, sorry I up and disappeared you guys, my mIRC trial ended and I can't afford to buy it yet, maybe after a couple more paychecks.

If anyone cares, collage is a royal pain in my ass, and I have a solo in the next concert my choir has. What the hell was I thinking? I love my stage fright, really.

I'll be shocked and amazed if anyone actually replies to this, but hey, miracles happen.

Eh, I haven't posted for a bit. Nothing much going on, I'm just going back and deleting a few posts that aren't really important. School's a bitch, but at least I like my teachers.

I doubt anyone will read this, or even respond, but what the hell. Tell me something funny, I'm bored. >.>

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Sunday I didn't flush (-1 points). In May I ruled Duluth, Minnesota as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). In November I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points). Last Thursday I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). In February I gave leo_osaka a Dutch Oven (-10 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-331 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking! Sincerely, iwishthat

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

This? Is kinda amazing ahaha.

Well, took the tarot test again.

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Big difference, huh? And this pic is awesome isn't it? |D

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Figures it'd be something spiritual, really. Guess thats what I get for being agnostic and taking a test like this. xD

Poetry drop!

Truth is Blind

What is Dark, and what is Light?
Why do we fight for what is right?
The Light is blind
The Dark is deceiving
Believing has no meaning
Love will never be alive
We hate,we die
And we cry

For the blood and for the land
Destroyed by our hands
Hope no longer has our trust
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Forcing this world to rust
All innocence is fading
Through sorrow we are wading
To the ruins of all life
The endless race has been in strife
Win or lose it's all the same
We are only playing a game
Until the end of time
Fighting shall be our final rhyme
Because the truth is forever blind
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And the happier follow up:

Rebirth

If after reading of a morrow
That a change of heart shall follow
Tears of joy instead of sorrow
Will fall onto the Earth
And give life to a new rebirth
The tears across the land shall mend

To stop the oncoming end
Love will rule in place of hate
And we shall recompensate
For the horrors we have done
Under the light of a forgiving Sun

Now the time draws near
Though the path is unclear
To be the one to raise your voice
And begin to rejoice
As on the day that we wait for
Peace shall reign forevermore
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that concludes todays poetry dump XD 

Ha! Finally figured out this LJ stuff, it's about time. S'up people? I'm Ryuu, nice to meet ya, ^^